Q: I’ve recently developed a crush on a close friend of many years. On paper they would make a great partner – I find them attractive, we get on well, enjoy each other’s company and have similar interests. But I am holding back from admitting my feelings because, apart from the obvious pitfalls of falling for a friend, I sometimes have serious questions about their politics. They have been involved in social and environmental activism in the past but now they’re older their commitment to radical social change has been overtaken by a centrist ‘realism’ that I find downright irritating at times. They seem to have abandoned hopes of radical progress in favour of a ‘pragmatism’ which manifests in accepting inequalities too easily, whataboutery and failing to consider the impact of their own life choices. But, how much does politics matter in a good partnership? Should I just get over myself?
A: The politics is the easy bit. It isn’t hard to explain why ‘centrist realism’ is a dead-end. Climate breakdown, mass impoverishment, economic depression – centrism cannot solve the radical problems that face us. And there is no ‘realism’ that can meaningfully respond to moments of immense historical change like ours, because historical change by its nature modifies what we assume to be realistic.
