Q: D and I became close friends at university, where we both discovered indispensable concepts around social justice, oppression, violence and trauma. This helped us offer meaningful solidarity to friends in need. But recently I’ve been accused of manipulation, abuse and gaslighting. I’d asked a mutual friend to spoon: when he said no, I laughed it off. Then after not hearing from D for several months, I received a text saying I was manipulative and had made our mutual friend uncomfortable. Other mutuals then blocked me on social media. I would never want to breach anyone’s boundaries, and profusely apologized to our mutual friend, but I’m still troubled as to why D - and our wider friendship group - afforded me so little faith. I always believed asking explicit questions was the foundational pillar of consent? D also didn’t even consider my own values and experience of assault. I’m increasingly uncomfortable with how the language of social justice, violence and oppression is being weaponized to the point of meaninglessness. But do I simply need to accept this was an unforgivable act?
Troubled of Cardiff
